Unreasonable?

Sometimes, a dream, a vision, an... idea flits through the mind and because it seems too outlandish, too far-fetched, too... unreasonable, logic overrides the notion. 

"Nah," we tell ourselves, shaking our head, and getting back to the task at hand. 

Several months ago, LeRoy and I dreamt of and planned for a trip to Miami and the Florida Keys. As I researched things to see and do along the scenic highway between Key Largo and Key West, I thought, "In an ideal, romantic scenario, we'd drive that stretch in a red convertible sports car." 

I scrolled down the rental page to convertible / luxury cars, contemplated as I perused the collection and costs of each one, then shifted into "be reasonable," moving the cursor over the category labeled Economy. 

After a few days of talking and researching, we shelved the whole idea, promising ourselves we'd revisit it later. 

Fast forward to January 24, 2024 when we received two invitations. The first one was to our niece's photography show and the second one was to our nephew's debut DJ performance. Excited to celebrate their achievements, we blocked off the dates on the calendar and made plans. 

February 9th, we drove the three hours southwest to Yakima, Washington to attend my niece, Mariah Whitworth's, show "In The Moment" featuring her deep dive photo journalism project into Yakima's skate culture. An added bonus was having my parents and our son, Ezekiel, with us for the adventure. Mariah's event was a success, having sold several of her photo pieces and books. We stayed the night with my brother, Tim, and his family, and drove home the following afternoon. 

February 15th, LeRoy and I flew into Miami, Florida a day early with the intention to drive to Ft. Lauderdale the following day to surprise and congratulate my nephew, Kolby Olsen. After brainstorming myriad options, I finally called and left a voicemail, "Hey Kolby! We're here in Miami with the intention to see you and celebrate you." A series of text messages followed, resulting in plans to meet on Sunday. It wasn't going to be the day of his event, but we'd still get to celebrate him in person. 

With those plans resolved, we turned our attention to the idea of visiting Key West. Back to the vehicle rental website, the reservation of a standard SUV at a lower price than the standard car, and pick up at nine o'clock in the morning. 

At the rental agency, Justin typed our information into the computer, stopping to study the screen. "Would you like to upgrade to a convertible at no additional cost?" 

LeRoy didn't hesitate, "Yes, please!" giving me a fist bump. 

Justin handed us the key and walked us out to the garage where we were shown to a red convertible Ford Mustang. Exactly like the one I envisioned months before. The one I dismissed as unreasonable. 

The stretch of scenic highway between Key Largo and Key West is one of the most beautiful, culture rich, unique stretches of highway we've traveled. And we got to experience it with the top down, wind in our my hair (😊), and a playlist to match our real life movie scene. 

The reminder? Keep a soft heart. Dream. Envision possibility. Utilize available resources and be open to upgrades. 

(We were already thanking God for the opportunities to fly here, stay in a hotel one block from the beach in Miami, make plans to spend time with my nephew (which, although we got to spend a lovely Sunday in Fort Lauderdale, we didn't meet up with Kolby this time. Next visit!), drive to Key West, soak up the Florida sunshine, talk with strangers, and be together "away from it all" for a few days. The red convertible sports car was God's "and now to add another round of confetti to your list of blessings.") 

Be Blessed.

Sharon

State of the Union

It's right there. U.S. Constitution -- Article II, Section 3.

"...shall from time to time..."

"...give to the Congress," (so, I'm stretching this just a bit here), "Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such measures..."

This moment. Right now. The [present] State of Affairs.

With a recommendation to consider for how to proceed.

And isn't this what we're all craving?

The announcer's, "He's winding up, ladies and gentlemen... and he's ready for the pitch..."

We wait with bated breath.

For the decision. The diagnosis. The announcement. The call.

The benchmark.

Then...

(And one of my all-time favorite State of the Union addresses...)

The change of command, followed by this...

"Now therefore,"

That word: therefore. It's the image of strength and solidarity. It's, "listen, I've set you up for success. I've got you. Act accordingly."

In this case, the very next word after 'therefore?'

"...arise,"

ohmyword. Perhaps you're a little like me? Perhaps you experienced moments in which overwhelm paralyzed you? Moments where life took an unexpected, jolting turn? Or maybe, like me, you made a foolish decision that resulted in far-reaching and disastrous consequences? (Yep, I did that. With financial repercussions like aftershocks from an earthquake. ugh. I'll have to tell you that story sometime.)

But there it is. Now. Therefore. Arise.

"...go..."

"...go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them -- the children of Israel."

And the One Who created this people and has a vision for their lives, continues, "Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses."

He lays it out, "From the wilderness... to the Great Sea toward the going down of the sun, shall be your territory."

And I love how God knows we need a bit of reassurance that we're not in this alone.

"...as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you."

So?

"Be strong and of good courage..."

"Only be strong and very courageous..." And the counsel to not turn to the right or the left of Truth, but to stay the course, "that you may prosper wherever you go."

There it is. The recommendation for how to proceed. And what if we all considered such measures? Be strong and very courageous. Build a life of habits based on Truth. Know that you're authorized to prosper wherever you go.

And all the life hacks, programs, seven steps and frameworks? It's actually much more simple than the headlines have led us to believe.

For all the brokenness and heartache and the fact that it wasn't supposed to be like this, whatever our 'this' is, the truth remains that we can choose to fix our minds -- our hearts -- on Truth. That we can declare Truth, meditate on Truth day and night, and act on Truth.

"For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

And who couldn't stand to be a little, (or a lot), more prosperous and successful in their relationships, and work, and finances, and leisure, and health?

And just in case there's any doubt about our consideration to such measures, he reiterates, "Have I not commanded you?..."

[and because if you're anything like me and you've heard these words a gzillion-trillion times so you zone out with a haphazard, yeh, yeh, I've heard it all before... let these words spark neurons, strengthen hope-giving synapses, and breathe new life]

"Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."


Reflecting on 2018. Acknowledging the State of the Present. Moving forward with strength and courage, vision and expectation.

December Money Experiment, Season 1, Final Episode

“Your feedback on our December Money Experiment?”

It’s a rare occasion to have all six of us home at the same time. A quick glance at the family calendar provides a sense of urgency. I have less than twenty minutes for a team meeting. Now, huddled in the living room of our extra-large tiny townhouse, we’re asking those timeless questions, what worked, what didn’t? Asking, what might we do different?  

“Mom, our house is just kind of a crash pad right now.” Ezekiel’s eyes hold mine. I process his metaphor.

Later, I would look up the definition of crash pad… 1. informal – a place to sleep, especially for a single night or in an emergency. 2. a thick piece of shock-absorbing material for the protection of the occupants of an aircraft cockpit or motor vehicle. Also, for a gymnast or for boulder climbing.

This season of transition, the launching of ideas, work, goals, projects.

This experiment stripped the fluff and superfluous. In exchange for an overflowing pantry and refrigerator, we received the gift of insight.

There it was.

All our desires. Laid out bare.

Bare necessities, yes. Like food. Sure.

I’m curious, though… can a basic need like food cause the dreaded onset of …complacency? Maybe?

The first ten days or so landed nothing short of victorious. Working within parameters stirred my creativity and imagination, resulting in delicious culinary creations. The atmosphere went from tense and worrisome to hey, this might be fun after all.

Until the only items left on the pantry shelves were a bag of flax seed, white wine vinegar and yellow corn meal. Half a box of pasta and a bag of “Glorious Gluten-free Cookies” from Christ Kitchen faced one another in their private arena, their incongruence begging the question, What is the intention?

The challenge was to live on a grocery budget of $200 for a month with a family of six. That comes out to roughly $6.45 a day for December. Only ten days in and we had already spent $96.09.

Three dollars and sixteen cents a day more than the allotment.

Worry crept back in at the edges. The refrigerator door made a hollow fmp when closed. Instead of bold, faith-filled declarations, a few team members fretted, we might starve.

And, you know that question… What will you be famous for? Well, in our family, something I’m (in)famous for is “turning everything into a life lesson.” Yes, well, eh-hem… about that. Funny how a gnawing in an empty stomach can make space to consider the deepest desires of the heart. 

The stark reminder that we’re spiritual beings having a physical experience.

And the life-giving truths, metaphorically chewing on them, Delight yourself also in the Lord…* Then Matthew’s exhortation, But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness...**

Whispered reflection, what do I want most? What does my heart long for? Heh. I glance over at my vision board where there in the lower right-hand corner it reads …a gourmet chef’s kitchen and a team of world class chefs. They live on the premises and prepare healthy meals for all meals every day of the week. Ah! A small taste (excuse the pun) of heaven in all this grocery-budgeting, ingredient-improvising and recipe-innovating.

So, there’s the vision, the goal (at least for the kitchen)… and in the meantime… in the present…

{long smile} “Do not fret – it only causes harm.”*** And, “Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”**** Well, yes, about that, too.

Instead of fretting, instead of getting carried away by tomorrow’s unknowns, I wonder…

…how simple, how amazing if…

What if, I wanted to know more of God’s heart… you know, the way I want food? What if we longed to be filled with more of God’s Spirit, the way we hunger for savory succulence hot out of the oven? What if we decided to be wholly satisfied with the sustenance found in the Sustainer of our days? 

What if, we leveraged our physical longings as a nudging reminder of our soul’s deeper longing?

What if, we followed the example of the psalmist, the wholehearted declaration, One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple. (Psalm 27:4) Yes, that… to encounter His presence… in “the premises” of my heart and soul… an ongoing communion…

Last week I read The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis. There’s a part where Screwtape, a demon on a mission to ruin a man’s soul, writes to his nephew regarding gluttony, “But what do quantities matter, provided we can use a human belly and palate to produce querulousness, impatience, uncharitableness, and self-concern?” Yes, there. Not the quantity, just the mere appetite.

Funny how something as fundamental as food presented possible epiphanies. How it shook up the complacent areas and caused me to consider this foodstuff on a soul-deep level.

Of course, I only pondered this all in my own heart as I looked at the five pairs of eyes looking back at me during this team debrief. Yes, the crash pad metaphor. Back to that. I especially like the second meaning, “a thick piece of shock-absorbing material for the protection of the occupants…”

{hold the wheel, that’s right, hold the wheel as we continue round this corner} This curve in the road with grown children finding their way, all of us – us parents included – stepping out into new endeavors, the faith-filled, bold declaration: I will behold the beauty of the Lord, to delight myself in Him, to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. To lean into the transition, the new rhythm.

To execute on an idea. To take on fulfilling work. To achieve a goal, and then another, and another. To challenge ourselves, stretch out of our comfort zone and pursue projects that build a legacy of impact, changing the world around us for the better.

What if those are simply the fruit of utilizing our appetites, cravings, hunger pangs – whatever you call them – to lay bare the deepest longings of our soul? And to know Spirit absorbs the shock of our disappointments, impatience, frustrations, and setbacks.

So, we didn’t exactly work out all the kinks and fumbles in this experiment. And we didn’t succeed in the $200 challenge. The receipts from December 1^st through the 28^th document $235.80. Then, for some reason, on the 28^th, we ended the experiment… the receipts totaling $307.86 through the 31^st of the month. whelp. 

Based on the numbers, the experiment failed. Yet, the insights gained are priceless.

“So how do we make this a strategic, functional, effective crash pad, not just to meet physical needs, but for soul-care, too?”

The next fifteen minutes or so, we brainstorm ideas, possibilities. We establish a few outcomes from the experiment that will inform our next steps. For example, this new season in our family creates an atmosphere that more closely resembles a fraternity/sorority house of creatives and innovators than anything we’ve had before. Rarely is there more than one or two people home at the same time. 

Based on what we learned, we'll continue to look for ways to practice frugality. 

We'll give each other grace and space as we're all entering and exiting the revolving door of our home. 

We'll support one another in our goals and ambitions.

We'll continue to look for ways to create a culture of honor both here and everywhere we show up. One way we'll do this is to check in with one another, "How is it going for you? Is there anything I can do to honor and bless you?"  

We'll up the ante when it comes to praying for and with one another. (Something we've allowed to fall by the wayside.) 

We'll continue to seize moments to laugh together and serve together. And, ohmyheart... the ongoing, life-giving conversations around here! Yes, those. Whether a few minutes or a couple of hours, we'll definitely continue those conversations. 

What about you? Where can you challenge yourself? In what area might you create an experiment that could help you and your team create an environment that's aligned with who you are and who you want to become? 

*Psalm 37:4

**Matthew 6:33

***Psalm 37:8

****Matthew 6:34

Counting blessings…

303. All this, written while my family is a swirl of activity around me, making the traditional requested breakfast for Ezekiel on this, his 20^th birthday. French toast, scrambled eggs with sausage, and orange juice. Small tastes of heaven.

304. A new job for me! A continuation of my life’s work and passion: investing in and coaching families! Woohoohoo!! Thank You, Jesus!

305. A husband and grown children who are all stepping out in faith and pursuing God-sized dreams.

306. Difficult conversations and the ensuing decision to reign in ego, ask questions, listen, clarify and validate, share authentically, listen more. The resulting intimacy.

307. The glorious and exciting news of a friend’s outrageous success on a project.

308. An evening spent in the company of matriarchs who have loved, coached, mentored and invested in me for over twenty-one years.

309. A book that’s hung out at the top of my “To Read List” for way too many years, finally finished. And the 5+ pages of single-spaced, type-written notes from The Screwtape Letters which has given me plenty of fodder for future conversational musings.

310. A whole weekend to read and study Ruby K. Payne’s Doctoral Thesis, A Framework for Understanding Poverty.

311. An afternoon and evening with Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jake, (Grandma and Grandpa to our children), engaging in deep conversation, bouncing around ideas, seeking solutions to challenges. Aunt Kathy makes a lasagna dinner with all the sides and then we wile away the rest of the evening playing a game and laughing until we find ourselves reigning each other back in for the next round. LeRoy and Uncle Jake bond over the NFL game on television.

312. The anticipation of the week ahead.

313. All six of us home this morning for Ezekiel’s Birthday Breakfast. And again, this evening for his Birthday Dinner. Annnnd, in the interim, the opportunity for Ezekiel to go skiing with Eli and Israel. For LeRoy and Isaiah to hang out together and watch the NFL game at Uncle Jake’s and Aunt Kathy’s house. For a few hours of quiet space for myself.

December Money Experiment, Season 1, Episode 1

"I'd like to propose a grocery budget of $200 a month." His tone is faith and resolve. After all, our oldest spent the last year traveling with a team of 21. They made the best of meager resources. They sacrificed, he says. And they learned to be creative. 

He's confident our team of six has seriously underestimated what we're capable of in the areas of meals, nutrition and budgets. No worries, he assures us, trust him and he'll show us what can be achieved.

"I second that." Our third born, all logic and data, says he's in. His frugality has paid him huge dividends. So he's backing the idea in wholehearted agreement. And he agrees with his oldest brother, that we've probably been overspending on groceries. 

Our second oldest listens from the sidelines. And our daughter? She looks on, both bemused and curious. Unaffected. 

The proposal came about during a team meeting. "Regarding finances, I'd like to renegotiate some terms." All eyes turned toward Ezekiel. He shared a few goals and then, Eli, (inspired by Ezekiel's ambition?), pitched his idea.  

How did LeRoy and I respond to this proposal? Well, I laughed as I retrieved the finance notebook. 

Tracking income and expenses -- to the penny, it's a hobby. Accounting for checks and balances.  Making financial strategies and predictions. Creating margin. Organizing outgo, crunching numbers, and moving us toward financial freedom is fun. Romantic, even. 

I casually flipped pages, reporting each month's numbers, each one hovering significantly above the new proposed amount. 

No matter. I smiled. "I'm in." 

LeRoy (very) reluctantly agreed. It's for a short time and we'll chock it up to an experiment, I told him. Who knows, I shrugged, maybe we'll discover something we wouldn't have otherwise. 

So here we are. I'm a little behind on the documentation of this experiment, but so far, so good. Each of us agreed to contribute $50 toward the grocery budget along with meal planning and preparation, with LeRoy and I taking the first week. 

ohmygosh. I love it! There's nothing quite like boundaries and limits to spark creativity. Each day I perused the contents of our refrigerator, freezer and pantry with the question, "What can I make with what we have on hand?" 

Pasta drizzled with olive oil and garlic. Cream of broccoli soup paired with garlic bread, a chicken casserole, breakfast burritos (made in an extra-large batch and frozen for quick lunches later). I regret that I didn't track the meals better, but the ratings were five out of five.

Ezekiel took the second week, slightly leaner, yet nonetheless delicious. A second round of breakfast burritos, (this time with sausage, less veggies), enchiladas, and tacos.

Heading into our third week of this experiment. Will keep you posted on the intrigue and suspense, the creativity and imagination sparked by this challenge.

Counting blessings...

(continued from this post)

297. Presence.

298. Moments.

299. Time.

300. Creativity.

301. The way Eli passionately suggested that our family shake things up, take more risks, make sacrifices and try new things. 

302. Being on a team of good sports who know how to both go for the win and still keep things lighthearted and fun.